Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
"What are you doing on that wall, [[Humpty?]]" Said a villager.Humpty Dumpty was going to have a great fall. This fall was going to be seen by everyone. Even the Princess in her [[tower]]."I'm simply admiring [[her.]]" Said Humpty Dumpty.Humpty admired Princess Pan for so many reasons. Too many reasons to choose from. Was it her [[iron like demeanor]], her [[passion for hand-to-hand combat]] or perhaps the way [[she shined in the sun]]?Princess Pan was raised by two kings, both more unalike than alike. Perhaps that's what made them a perfect match. But when it came to raising Princess Pan, it was not. [[split in two]], she never could get a grasp on who she was. Aside from her dreaminess and multidimensional personality, Princess Pan was a [[fierce competitor]] in the ring.Princess Pan glistened, literally. A consistent mosturizing routine with the finest of olive oil in the land made her quite the sight. Admired by those who could only dream of being so shiny. But she always felt [[split in two]]. Who did she want admiration from?On one hand, she loved her fathers and her beautiful home and she ached to exist in peace among her people. But on the other hand, she wanted be desired and feared by them. Especially:
[[Captain Salt]] Princess Pan certainly had an..agressive edge to her. Her passion for beating competitors and being lauded as the only noble with awards for...literally beating people up. The agression just fueled a fire within and she wasn't ever sure if she could find someone who understood. She just felt [[split in two]].Captain Salt, where to begin? Raised purely for combat and service, the man lacked the empathy needed to be an upstanding citizen. If not for his devotion to the law, the man would be [[pure anarchy]].There. She sees him. Wobbling so close to the edge. She must get to him. How?
[[Jumped bravely from the kingdom tower]]
[[Floated delicately down the stairs]]
[[Rudely climbed atop her guard and demands he trudges down the stairs to this egg]]Princess Pan ran to the egg and caught him gracefully before he could fall to his doom. Princess Pan fiercely drew her sword from her belt and slashed Captain Salt, sending him to the ground.
"I always knew you were a brute Salt, but not a cruel bastard who picks on eggs." She frowned and pushed the large, albei short egg behind her.
"That THING, is not worthy of a glance in your direction. But seeing how brutish you are, I was a fool to think you deserved my affections." Captain Salt spit back.
Princess Pan, feeling deeply insulted, raised her sword and:
[[Cut Captain Salt once again]]
[[Swung to the ground near him]]
[[Slashed randomly near his body]]Humpty sighed a deep sigh and imagined a life with Princess Pan. Living far from the kingdom in a peaceful meadow with all of their little skillets and yolks. He was so deep in thought, he missed the not-so-gentle [[nudge]] from the very ignorant [[Captain Salt]].
Captain Salt hated that darn egg. The way he stared so [[creepily]] at Princess Pan.
"Someone ought to do something about [[that egg]] Sir." Said another one of The King's Men.Princess Pan was aware that she had many admirers. Captain Salt with his dastardly handsomeness and her Royal Guard with their intense devotion. But neither of these compared to [[the admiration of Humpty Dumpty]].He always stared a little too long and too hard. His washed-out complextion shined in the sun and blined her. The light from the sun reflecting so hard, it almost burnt her curtains. She didn't fear [[that egg]], but she could do without his intense stare. Captain Salt barely had to jump into action. He marched over to Humpty Dumpty, intending to push the creepy little egg off of his wall once and for all. He was shocked to meet [[resistance]].Humpty Dumpty somersaulted off the wall and landed on the butt of his egg.
"Protective armor. You're not the first brute to try and crack me!" Humpty snarled.
[[Pulled out his steel blade]]
[[Gave a snide retort]]
[[Looked to Princess Pan in her tower for guidance]]Captain Salt, over confident and full of rage, swung at Humpty Dumpty. Of course, his blade did no damage to the thick armor encrusted over this shell of an egg. Humpty Dumpty cackled at this feeble attempt.
He stuck out one leg from his grotesque oval body and kicked Captain Salt over the kingdom and into a forest of thick and thorny brambles.
Captain Salt has died and Humpty Dumpty continues his gross glares.
[[Start]] again?"You're an egg. What woman on god's green earth would want to sleep an egg?" Captain Salt asked rudely.
Humpty Dumpty turned red with anger, like one of those hot pickeled eggs. He crouched and roared a roar so loud, the castle walls [[cracked]].
He blew up, send yolk and egg white all over the village.
Captain Salt returned his sword to his pouch and bowed to all of the very grateful women in the village.
Humpty Dumpty is dead and Captain Salt is victorious.
[[Start]] again?Princess Pan, looking on from above, met the gaze of Captain Salt. An unspoken question sparked her into action. She:
[[Nodded a nod with a devilish smirk.]]
[[Turned away]]Captain Salt took this nod as a nod of mercy. Perhaps the Princess wanted him to make an example of himself. He sheathed his sword and spoke calmly to the agressive egg.
"My good sir.." Captain Salt Princess Pan hardly interjected between the affairs of man. Well, affairs of man and //egg.//
She turned away and continued to admire her weapons collection.
Captain Salt wasn't going down with a fight. He was going to [[win this battle]] and [[win the Princesses affections]].Captain Salt and Princess Pan married at the end of that week. The entire kingdom praised Captain Salt for his fierce battle against the creepy Humpty Dumpty and they all lived happily ever after.
Although...Princess Pan can't help but think about what would happen if she and Humpty Dumpty got off to a good [[Start]].Princess Pan felt a rumble from her window and screamed in fear. The window cracked open and sent Princess Pan soaring to the ground. Captain Salt heard the scream and moved to action. He:
[[Slid a piece of egg armor below her]]
[[Ran to catch her]]
[[Did nothing. He was still bathing in the attentions of the women in the village]]The egg armor landed right below the Princess. Unfourtnately, the egg armor is the strongest armor in the land. It probably would have been softer to land on the cobblestone.
Princess Pan is dead. Humpty Dumpty is dead. Captain Salt is shunned from the kingdom because of his failure to save Princess Pan.
[[Start]] again?Captain Salt runs quickly to Princess Pan, the fire from his body pushing him harder than he ever has before. He catches the Princess swiftly and secures her away from falling debris from the tower.
"Thank you Salt." Princess Pan smiled and stepped down out of his arms.
"You're welcome, Pan." Captain Salt smiled.
"It's Princess Pan." She added.
"Not for long." Captain Salt winked.
The two were married within the week and Captain Salt was awarded for his service. The pair left the kingdom and started a school for young knights.
They lived happily ever after!
[[Start]] again?Captain Salt swung his mighty steel sword and sent Humpty Dumpty spinning in circles. Humpty Dumpty, unprepared for this level of combat, found no way to stop himself and went soaring down the mountain side into a cool abyss.
Princess Pan [[rejoiced]]!Captain Salt raised his mighty sword and struck it into the ground in front of Humpty Dumpty. Humpty Dumpty cackled at his tremendous failure.
"I THOUGHT YOU HAD THE BEST AIM IN ALL THE LANDS, CAPTAIN SALT!" Humpty antagonized.
"Unlucky for you Dump, I do." Captain Salt stepped back and watched his sword tear the land in two, opening up a gaping gorge underneath Humpty Dumpty. Almost comedically, he fell through, leaving a cloud of smoke above him.
Captain Salt felt no satisfaction from this. The gorge seperated the kingdom even further from the village with no hopes of rejoining the land. He looked on in sadness as his Princess drifted away in her tower. He swore he could see a twinge of sadness in her eyes.
Humpty Dumpty is dead. Captain Salt did not end up with the Princess.
[[Start]] again?Using his vast knowledge of combat and armor, Captain Salt found a weak spot on Humpty Dumpty. He swung, combo after combo, until Humpty Dumpty (in all his creepiness) was nothing but a fried egg on the hot pavement.
The villagers, compelled by this intoxicatng act of violence, ran to rejoice in the end of Humpty Dumpty. Captain Salt captured the attentions of the Princess once more.
Princess Pan was intoxicated by the act of violence. She had only felt such fire in her own conquests and battles but this was a shared flame she desperately wanted to feed.
The two ran until they couldn't and met halfway up the tower.
"Humpty Dumpty could never keep me away from you Princess." Captain Salt panted, out of breath from his speedy run up the stairs.
"Such violence...such anguish. I could never dream of a more perfect match." Princess Pan ran into the arms of Captain Salt and professed her love to him.
They lived (albeit disturbingly) happily ever after.
[[Start]] again?Princess Pan, fueled with rage, swung at Captain Salt. This final blow sending the Captain to his death.
Covered in (text-colour:red)[blood], Princess Pan looked to her village and her people in hopes of finding celebration. Instead she found looks of horror and shock. The most devestating of looks from Humpty Dumpty.
"I only know and crave peace Princess. I cannot affirm your actions." Humpty frowned and stepped away.
Princess Pan, ashamed and feeling lost, ran into the forest where she would live out her days as a woodswoman.
Captain Salt is dead. Humpty Dumpty lost his heart. Princess Pan, if you can call her that anymore, is gone into the woods.
[[Start]] again?"I THOUGHT YOU HAD THE BEST AIM IN ALL THE LANDS, Princess PAN!" Salt antagonized.
"Unlucky for you Salt, I do." Princess Pan stepped back and watched her sword tear the land in two, opening up a gaping gorge underneath Captain Salt. Princess Pan felt no enjoyment out of watching him plummet into the ground but it did feel poetic.
She looked to Humpty for guidance, assurance, or anything that would take away from te terribleness of the moment.
What she found was the sun, hitting off of Humpty's shell in the most beautiful way possible. She didn't care about the ground crumbling around them. She felt peace. She felt like she was right where she was supposed to be. (text-style:"italic")[Falling] in love with Humpty Dumpty.
Captain Salt is dead. Humpty Dumpty and Princess Pan are dead and sitting in the heavens atop the highest wall. Together.
[[Start]] again?Humpty Dumpty grabbed her hand before the blow could connect.
"Be weary of violence amongst your people. Set an example of peace and not rage. for rage only brings battles that do not end." The egg whispered in her ear.
Enamored by such poetry, Princess Pan set down her sword and stepped away from the Captain.
"I will know peace with you, won't I?" She smiled at the egg.
Humpty, eager to respond and fufill his fantasies of a life with the Princess, failed to see Captain Salt's sword and was struck down into nothing but yolk.
"You will never, ever feel peace, your highness." Captain Salt sneered before collapsing and succumbing to his deepened wound.
Humpty Dumpty has died. Captain Salt has died. Princess Pan has not found love or freedom.
[[Start]] again?Be honest. Not even a fierce warrior Princess could survive a jump from a tower.
You've killed the Princess and she does not save Humpty Dumpty. Talk about [[scrambled eggs.]]The Princess, with no sudden urgency, floated down the stairs like the balloon you still have from your birthday party two months ago. Once she(text-style:"italic","underline")[// finally //]made it to the bottom of the stairs, she landed right in spilled yolk. The Princess does not save Humpty Dumpty.
Talk about runny-ing out of time!
[[Start]] again?"What on earth are you doing Princess?!" Her royal guard yelled.
"An egg is about to fall off the village wall! I need to save him." Princess Pan demanded with her nose stuck up.
Her guard simply shrugged, knowing that it was useless to argue with the stubborn Princess and sprinted [[down the castle steps]]. Captain Salt barely had to jump into action. He marched over to Humpty Dumpty, intending to push the creepy little egg off of his wall once and for all. He was shocked to meet [[resistance]].Fumpty Dumpty Journal: Day 164,
(Live:3s)[(stop:)//"It has been several monthis since I last saw my brother.//] (Live:6s)[(stop:)//I had tried my best to reatain what little hope I had,//] (Live:9s)[(stop:)//but since the death of the Princess,//] (Live:12s)[(stop:)//the entire kingdom has fallen to chaos."//]
(Live:3s)[(stop:)//"Perhaps he has somehow found a way to [[survive]] in this turbulent time, but I fear the [[worst]] has befallen him."//]Fumpty Dumpty Journal: Day 171,
(Live:3s)[(stop:)//"It has become to dangerous to continue searching for my brother."//] (Live:6s)[(stop:)//I fear that if I do not leave the Kingdom right at this moment,//] (Live:9s)[(stop:)//I may fall victim to King Salt's furry as well."//]
(Live:12s)[(stop:)//I'm sorry brother, but I must turn away now.//] (Live:15s)[(stop:)May God [[soothe]] us of our sin..."//]Fumpty Dumpty Journal: Day 278,
(Live:3s)[(stop:)"//He has to be here, I know it.//] (Live:6s)[(stop:)//My brother is too strong to die at the hands of these animals,//] (Live:9s)[(stop:)//let alone that Tyrant,//] (Live:12s)[(stop:)King Salt.//"]
(Live:15s)[(stop:)//"I will continue my search,//] (Live:18s)[(stop:)//if not to save my brother,//] (Live:21s)[(stop:)//then to [[avenge]] him."//]Fumpty Dumpty Journal: Day 481,
(live:3s)[(stop:)"//He is [[dead]]"//]Fumpty Dumpty Journal: Day...unknown,
(live:3s)[(stop:)//"We've been fighting this war for what seems like centuries,//] (live:6s)[(stop:)//but only now do I realize that we had lost from the start."//]
(live:9s)[(stop:)//"To anyone reading this,//] (live:12s)[(stop:)//leave the Kingdom, now!"//]
(live:15s)[(stop:)//"There is no stopping the great Salt Lord."//]
(live:18s)[(stop:)[[Start Over?->Start]]]Fumpty Dumpty Journal: Day 205,
(live:3s)[(stop:)//"It has taken me a little over a month to escape the kingdom and it's surrounding lands."//]
(live:6s)[(stop:)//"I cannot help to feel that I have betrayed my brother,//] (live:9s)[(stop:)//but if I know him well,//] (live:12s)[(stop:)//this is what he would have wanted my to do."//]
(live:15s)[(stop:)//"From now on, I will spead the legend of my brother."//]
(live:18s)[(stop:)//"Unlike King Salt, he shall be (text-style:"emboss")[(text-colour:red)[immortal]]."//]